Departed
Anneke died a couple of days ago, late in the evening. I had spent the day there in her room, sitting with her, talking to her, reading to her and playing with little Mariaske in between. I guess it may seem strange to some, a deaf person reading to a catatonic one, but we don’t really know just how much of her was there, how much of her was still able to know what was about her and we could not bear for her to die alone if there was any chance of awareness being there. So for the last few days we have made the journey up to Dordrecht knowing that at least Nicholas would never be left with the thought that no one cared about his mother. I hope she did not mind our company, or having her room invaded by children, a babbling baby tossing her toys about and a curious guide dog or two. I can remember how such noises were always comforting to me when I could still hear, so I would like to think that they were some sort of comfort to her somewhere inside.
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I was just about to leave and catch the last train home when I noticed the rise and fall of her chest had dropped to almost nothing, so I sat back down, held her hand with a finger on her pulse and waited. I had seen it all before. Afterwards I sat with her for an hour, and got my laptop out and messaged Nina back in Maastricht and we talked briefly about when to tell Nicholas his mother had died, deciding not to wake him but to wait for morning. One of the hospice nurses and I then tended to Anneke, and I made sure that Tigger was still with her and a picture of Nicholas. The staff kindly put Mariaske, Sissi and myself up for the night, and in the morning I was able to give the funeral home their instructions. As Anneke had no one else we have decided to bury her in Maastricht, so then when Nicholas is ready he can visit her.
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Our thanks to Maryse Noten and all her staff for their care, patience and assistance. I have often thought that hospice work is rather under rated, we have midwives to usher us into the world and hospice nurses to usher us out, it is noble a thing they do.
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Our thanks also for all the lovely replies to Tigger, and the mails. I will try and catch up on some of the enormous backlog of mails we have over the weekend, children permitting !
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Judith & Nina van der Roos
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willothewisp
